On the Job - Employees take chance on workplace romance Relationships - Many people at some point in their lives will date a co-worker
Thursday, February 16, 2006
REBECCA CLARREN
Maybe it's the oh-so-flattering glow of fluorescent lights. Or the romantic sound of persistent telephone ringing. Whatever it is that sets the mood, eventually nearly half of all people end up dating someone at work, according to a 2001 study by Vault.com, a Web site with information on more than 3,000 companies and 70 industries. Such kissing behind the water cooler has rarely been encouraged. For decades, the professional literature on love at work focused on the negative of office romance, labeling such trysts as nothing but trouble, a morass of favoritism, sexual harassment and drama.
But just tell that to Cupid. You can wake up 364 days in a row and tell yourself that dating a co-worker is a bad idea, but on that 365th day you fall for somebody and it's all over.The fact that so many of us end up attracted to those we work with makes sense: In today's world we often spend more time at the office than anywhere else. Plus, we tend to work with people who are like us in many ways, whether it be education and income levels or similar values and drive, says Marcia Belmont, founder of Marshugana's of Portland, a matchmaking agency based in Southwest Portland with clients throughout the region. "I set up people in like professions all the time, and it seems to work very well," says Belmont. "They can understand the terminology, the politics, the frustrations. It's a quicker way for them to relate to each other." In fact, says Belmont, efforts by management to prevent relationships can heighten romance.
"People feel closer because they feel like they're in cahoots," she says. "It makes it more exciting if they have to be on the sly." This is partly why companies from big employers such as Pixelworks in Tualatin to startups such as Reitmeier Mechanical in Tigard have eschewed dating bans or policies that address workplace dating. Several human resource officials say they wouldn't be likely to draft something unless the issue arose. Even then, dealing with problematic relationships on an individual basis makes sense, says Larry Bowen, operations manager at LSM Dental, a Wilsonville dental equipment manufacturer.
While he tries not to hire employees' romantic interests, he says that when love develops at work, there's no problem as long as people remember that work comes before "extracurricular activities."
"As a manager, whether there was a policy or not, you still have to make sure people are doing their jobs," says Bowen. "When I noticed some employees flirting and spending every second they had together, I just had to talk to them about it. They just have to take a mature outlook on it." Not that there aren't pitfalls to workplace romance, says Judy Clark, CEO of HR Answers, a human resources consulting firm in Tualatin. When relationships fail, other co-workers could be forced to deal with the breakup. Furthermore, companies get antsy about behavior that was once welcome affection turning into something that resembles harassment. But "there is not a single rule or regulation that will ever stop romance in the workplace because you cannot regulate emotions and feelings and a sense of affection," says Clark. "No matter how companies handle it, people will get together."
Rebecca Clarren writes about business from Portland. She can be reached at rclarren@yahoo.com.
CaféB.Ivrit
KICK-OFF
IS TONIGHT . MONDAY, DECEMBER 5th @
Coffee and cookies
served. Free.
Professor
Hebrew
Writings in the
Facilitated
by PSU Hebrew Instructor Shirly Niemi
Café.Ivrit is a conversational Hebrew
series. Students and scholars from
The Harold Schnitzer Family
Program in Judaic Studies, and
The Jewish Federation of
Greater Portland present
DR.
DEBORAH LIPSTADT
Dorot Professor of Modern Jewish & Holocaust
Studies at
HISTORY ON TRIAL:
MY DAY IN COURT WITH DAVID
IRVING
Monday
Evening, JANUARY 23,
University
Place, PSU .
$10
general public
Free
for Students
Arrangements for Deborah
Lipstadt made through the B.ani Brith Lecture
Bureau.
PORTLAND
STATE
UNIVERSITY
10 weeks . Jan
9th . March 17th All classes open for credit or
non-credit..
Registration
required, community fees available at
503.725.4832.
Email pearlmana@pdx.edu for full course
descriptions.
For syllabi or further
questions, contact instructors directly.
* INDICATES THIS IS A NEW
COURSE
*HST
199/399: INTRODUCTION
TO JUDAISM
MWF 
45318/45319 . Michael R. Weingrad . weingrad@pdx.edu
*HST
410/510: BIBLE AND
LEADERSHIP
Wednesday
*ENG
308U: COMPARATIVE JEWISH LITERATURE
MWF 41127 . Lee Medovoi .
medovoi@pdx.edu
HST
410/510: AMERICAN JEWISH HISTORY
T & Th 444697/444698 . Michael R Weingrad .
weingrad@pdx.edu
HEB
102: 1ST YEAR MODERN HEBREW (2nd
Term)
T & Th
HEB
202: 2ND YEAR MODERN HEBREW (2nd
Term)
T & Th
ANTH
410/510:
T
& Th
ENG 441:
Jews, Turks, and Moors on the Renaissance Stage
T&Th
2-3:50 . Shattuck 207 . CRN 41155 .
Amy Greenstadt . greens@pdx.edu
ENG
318: The Bible as Literature
MWF
History
487U/587
Monday
44687 . Jon Mandaville .
mandaville@pdx.edu
OTHER
EVENTS OF INTEREST
Tuesday, Dec. 6,
7 . 9
p.m.
MJCC Community Forum.
Come see the MJCC's exciting plans for renovation and
learn more about MJCC membership. 7-9 pm. MJCC, 6651 SW
Capitol Hwy. 503-535-3592.
Thursday, Dec. 8
at
Dec 8 - Is There A
Relationship between Ritual and Ethics? with guest speaker Rabbi Saul J. Berman, who will demonstrate
the ways in which rituals in Torah are the bearers of essential ethical
messages, and how ethics, in turn, is a powerful source of the meaning of
ritual. Sunday, Dec. 10 -
Deception in
Business and Interpersonal Ethics: Genevat Daat with guest speaker Rabbi Saul J. Berman,
who will focus on areas of Jewish Law which touch on the avoidance of emotional
injury in interpersonal interactions, friendly or business. 7:30 pm. 920 NW 25th
Ave. 503-226-6131. Part of the Rabbi Geller
Lecture series.
Dec. 12, American Jewish Committee
Dr. David Elcott, AJC Director of U.S. Interreligious Affairs. $12, $60 for entire series. 12-1:30 pm. 26th Floor Conference
Room, Law Offices of Stoel Rives, LLP, 990 SW Fifth
Ave. 503-295-6761. Part of the AJC Luncheon
Lecture series.
Dec. 15, Hadassah, Shalom chapter (Vancouver & SW
Washington)
CAMAS: Meaning
of Zionism. Join kibbutz intellectual Zvi Ranaan in a discussion of what true Zionism is and is not.
Donations welcome. 7 pm. Call for location.
360-834-0632.
Local Art
Exhibits
Jews@Work: 150 Years of Commerce and Industry in Oregon,
Part II. This second exhibit in a series takes us into the
era of multi-generational businesses and "big" businesses and the nature of work
in the 20th and 21st centuries. Opening reception Sun., Oct.
30, at
The F Word:
Images of Forgiveness. An installation of photos and stories in
lightboxes designed to tell the stories of people from
around the world who have discovered that the only way to move on in life is to
lay aside hatred and blame. One of the stories features a Palestinian
electrician living in
Shirley Gittelsohn, Old and
New. Historic and recent paintings by Jewish artist Shirley Gittelsohn demonstrating the growth and development of an
artist over several decades. Tues.-Sat.
Portland's Jewish Women's Circle
presents
The Feminine side of Chanukah
Celebrate the miracle of the oil by learning the art of Herbal Oil Blending
& Bottling
Explore the significance of women and oil in the Chanukah miracle
Hostess: Mrs. Marcia Belmont
5929 NW Skyline Blvd., Portland
Thursday, December 15, 7:30 PM
$5.00
RSVP: 503.246.5437 or
PortlandJWC@gmail.com
Looking forward to seeing you there!!!
Wishing you a Happy Chanukah!!
Rivka goes to the new shopping centre in Brooklyn. It's unique because it's only for Jewish women looking for Jewish husbands. Potential husbands are the only goods on display. This is why Rivkah is there.
When she enters the building, there is a large sign, which explains: - THE BROOKLYN JWSC. This JWSC centre is laid out over 5 floors. The men here have increasingly better attributes the higher up you go. The rules for entry are simple --- you are only allowed in once.
Once you open the door to a floor, you must choose a man from that floor. If you go up a floor, you can't go back down except to leave the centre completely. Once you leave, you cannot return at any time forever
BEST OF LUCK
Rivkah goes to the first floor. The sign on the door says Floor 1: "All the men here have jobs, love children and are certainly not lazy". Rivkah thought, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving children, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes to the next floor.
The sign says Floor 2: "All the men on this floor have executive jobs, love children, are certainly not lazy and are extremely good looking". "That's better," thought Rivkah, "but I wonder what's further upstairs?"
Up she goes.
The sign says Floor 3: "All the men on this floor have executive jobs, love children, are certainly not lazy, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and are not strictly orthodox". "Wow," thought Rivkah, "almost perfect and very tempting. But I've come this far and there's more further up!"
And so again, up she goes.
The sign says Floor 4: "All the men on this floor have executive jobs, love children, are certainly not lazy, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, are not strictly orthodox, are very romantic and know how to satisfy their partner".
"Oy vay, wonderful" she said aloud, "but just think what could be waiting for me upstairs" So up to the fifth and top floor she goes.
The sign here says Floor 5: "This floor is just to prove that Jewish women are impossible to please". Thank you for shopping. Have a nice day!
Marshugana's is continually striving to meet the needs of the community
as well as the desires and feelings of its members and potential
members. To help shape the future and direction of Marshugana.s we
invite you to be part of the process. We are forming a board of
directors and are planning on having meetings every two months. Please
consider this request and let us know your availability. I appreciate
your assistance in this important endeavor.
Very truly yours,
Marcia Belmont
Matchmaker
Marshugana’s of Portland
5929 NW Skyline Blvd.
Portland, OR 97229
matchmaker@marshuganasofportland.com
http://www.marshuganasofportland.com
Phone: (503) 297-1010 or (503) 292-6111
Dear Marshugana’s Members and Friends:
Marshugana's of Portland is pleased to announce our enhanced online
services are available. Visit us at www.marshuganasofportland.com to
upload your photo and write a short description of yourself. While
every one of us is unique and cannot be summed up in a few lines, your
personal description will give other members a snapshot of who you are
and make it easier to identify likely matches. Likewise, you will be
able to review other members profiles to see if their descriptions are
similar to what you.re looking for in a partner. Think about how you
would answer if the person reading your summary were your bashert.
Our membership is climbing at a rapid rate, which is very encouraging.
I appreciate your support and welcome you to invite your friends to
join us. Many relationships are started because a friend introduced
someone else to a friend. As membership grows so do the opportunities
for you to meet that someone special.
As a member, I value your input. I am currently seeking ideas for future events or gatherings, and I welcome your questions and comments as well. You can reach me at the contact information listed below.
This is an exciting time of growth and opportunity for our community. Thank you for your patience and my sincere best wishes on your journey to finding your bashert!
Sincerely,
Marcia Belmont
Matchmaker
Marshugana’s of Portland
5929 NW Skyline Blvd.
Portland, OR 97229
matchmaker@marshuganasofportland.com
http://www.marshuganasofportland.com
Phone: (503) 297-1010 or (503) 292-6111
Marshugana's of Portland Email: matchmaker@marshuganasofportland.com Phone: 503-297-1010
Article in the Jewish Review August 1, 2003
Professional matchmaker brings skills to Portland By AMY KAUFMAN
Jewish Review
A professional matchmaker, with eight marriages to prove her skills, will open an exclusively Jewish dating service called Marshuganas of Portland in September.
Marcia Belmont, who has operated dating services in Seattle and Tucson, recently settled in Portland with her husband, Dr. Elliot Epner, an oncologist at OHSU. Originally from Omaha, she received her bachelor's degree in fine arts from Finch College and worked for CBS and the William Morris Agency in New York.
"Before moving here I worked without the use of a computer and introduced people based on my own instinct." Said Belmont. "In that way, I am like a traditional matchmaker. I really truly believe - it's a silly, idealistic thing - that there is a cover for every pot; there is somebody for everyone."
Belmont attempts to "bring together Jewish men and women seeking new friendships leading to courtship, marriage and family." She said she will also assist gay men and women seeking fulfilling relationships.
"It's a labor of love," Belmont said. "Part of the reason I did this is that I married a wonderful man I felt very blessed, and I wanted to help other people."
Belmont will apply her own experience to "the most difficult and, ultimately, the most satisfying of all quests-finding the right person."
In general, she said, people worry too much about the outcome of a relationship, instead of enjoy "what is" - a mistake she made when she was in the dating world.
"People need to be more flexible, less judgmental and more willing to incorporate a foreign body into their lives," she said.
In Belmont's experience, women are more likely than men to consult a matchmaker. "That's always been the problem," she said.
To balance the sexes, she will require women over 45 to bring a gentleman.
"The women have to be willing to help each other," she said.
Belmont said individuals will be able to meet others through her Web site, newspaper ads, Shabbat dinners and other events.
"Some people will not be on the Web but will want me to pick for them exclusively," she said. "I will try to help anyone I can, giving them suggestions and guidance."
Reflecting on the individuals she has connected, Belmont said, "Every story is special in itself: second marriages, people with children who can unite. It's great when you can bring people together and help them find happiness."
For more information, call Belmont at 503-297-1010 or send email to matchmaker@marshuganasofportland.com.
